Magnificent

BMW’s new M5 is more than just a 5 series with a large engine. As Adlin Yusman surprsingly finds out, it’s actually a contender for one of the very best cars in the world.

Badge snobbery is the very pinnacle of consumerism. Achieve that and you could price your item at any given price and you’d still find your buyer. A pair of slacks from Dockers would probably set you back RM350. The same pair of slacks from D&G would cost three times as much. And yet, there are enough buyers to keep more than a fair share of trouser designers alive and well for years to come. Obviously other aspects of packaging come into play, but nothing costs more to the consumer than the label that ends up decorating the rump of your trouser.

In the motoring world, it’s much the same. A Ferrari F430 costs 1.5 million ringgit. A similarly powered 911 Turbo or Lamborghini Gallardo would hover around the same price point as well. Which is hilarious since Lamborghini is owned by Audi and a similarly engine RS6 would cost a whole lot less. A similar engined Maserati 4200 Gransport (owned by Ferrari – and uses the engine sourced from the F 430) costs an entire luxurious three bed room apartment lesser as well. They all produce near as makes no difference, 500bhp. They all look astoundingly pretty and they’re all pretty damned fast. But 1.5 million ringgit is a lot of money to spend. In a world where inflation is ripe and global recession is the devil’s right hand, 1.5 million could be put to much better use elsewhere. Unless of course, you have already stashed some elsewhere and 1.5 million is a pithy day’s worth of labour.

If that is the case, then by all means go berserk on badge snobbery and buy yourself a Bugatti Veyron. What? It costs way too much money? Obviously. But at least you’d be able to bore half your friends to death on how your finely crafted aluminium indicator costs RM15,000 a pop to produce and your W16 engine generates more horsepower than Mars. Oh, and don’t forget to mention how VW is losing money on every single Veyron that they build. I wonder if their accountant is having a great time right now.

Look, I’m not going to tell you what you should buy. The biggest part of purchasing a car is the desire to own one. And when you’re talking about cars that cost this much, it only ever boils down to what catches your eye. Well, I’m here to tell you that right here, right now, this is what catches mine.

BMW’s Motorsport division, known simply as M was established in 1972. Their first project was the 3.0 CSL. If the oldest thing you remember is the Nokia mobile phone, then the 3.0 CSL might be lost to you. So let me refresh your memory then. The 3.0 CSL (or more fondly known as the Batmobile) was an instant success. It won 7 European Touring car titles. Seven, that’s quite a lot. The boffins at BMW, realizing that they were on to something decided to produce a road car that would epitomize the very essence of “M-ness”. So they built the M1. Which, for all intents and purposes was a technological masterpiece. Unfortunately, it cost too much money and the V12 was an expensive little bugger to run, so after a few years (1981) M division scrapped the idea and built something much more reasonable – the M 535i. And the rest as they say, is history.

The M 535i is the modern day M5’s daddy. It was the one of the first saloons to feature racing car aspects such as a final drive oil cooler and a 3.07 gear ratio with a limited slip differential. It blew away anything its competitors had at the time. And that included a few Ferraris and Porsches.

So here we are 25 years later and the E60 M5 is a widespread success. People the world over clamored to purchase M division’s newest four door ‘supercar’. And rightly so. The M5 with its seven ratio SMG gearbox and 507bhp is the definitive super car killer. It accelerates from nought to a hundred in a scarcely believable 4.3 seconds. Keep your foot planted and you’d nudge 330km/h. But these numbers mean nothing to me. It’s the experience that counts. The acceleration isn’t brutal in a way an Enzo or a 911 Turbo is, which is to be expected since the M5 is naturally aspirated, but it’s far from sedate either. There’s a sense of manic ferocity to it; something you don’t expect from a car that could carry five people in absolute comfort and style.

Twist the key and the engine produces 400bhp. Pocket rockets produce 400bhp these days, I hear some of you whine. Yes, it’s true, but then again 400bhp is nothing to be snuffed at either. The previous M5 had 400bhp and that was fast enough to rearrange your neighbour’s landscaping. Driving the E60 M5 in 400bhp mode is a joy. There’s enough power to scare other road users into submission, but not enough to scare you into ramming the nearest toll plaza. The gear shifts are seamless (which is surprising for an SMG gearbox) and given a fair stretch of road, it’ll still soil your pants.

But, move your eyes lower and you’ll see something labeled as ‘Power’. Thumb that button and you’re no longer doing 400bhp, you’re doing the full 507. Now in 507bhp mode, you would need to be very awake if you’d want to stay very alive. A slight twitch of the throttle is enough to rocket the M5 into the horizon, tires screeching its protest all the way across.

I’ve driven my fair share of 500bhp super cars, but none as exploitable as this. The electronics don’t nag you, you don’t get a sensation of fear every time you squeeze the loud pedal and best of all, there’s an insurmountable amount of grip. The last time I had this amount of grip was on the Murcielago Roadster; and that had four wheel drive which were wrapped in rear tires the size of tree trunks. Granted, this M5 had some improvements made to it (those large 21 inch Hartge rims being one of them) but the basic feel of the M5 remains untouched. Formula One style launches? Not a problem, it’s just a program away. Formula One style gear shifts? Not a problem, set the SMG III’s ferocity to maximum attack mode and you’d shift gears faster than you can say ‘M5’.

The M5 is BMW at its very finest. Okay, so I hate the fact that you have to constantly thumb the power button every time you want the full 507 experience and yes, I hate the fact that it doesn’t look as mean or as butch as the E46 M3, but you know what? Those are minor niggles. The M5 is meant to look discreet, that’s why the 5 series Ms were always a little less manic than the 3s. So what if the full 507bhp isn’t available all the time, I suppose BMW wouldn’t want my mother running around town, burning rubber all along the streets of Subang now would they? They had to build a car that could suit everyone, from the Nurburgring addict to the daily commuter. Everyone had to fit the profile. And you know what? They pretty damned well made it.

The suspension has three different settings. Comfort, normal and sport; or as my friend teasingly calls it – ball breaker, back breaker and dear god, are those my eyeballs on your lap? It’s not bone-shakingly hard, but it isn’t cossetingly smooth either. The softest setting on the M5 is similar to the E55 AMGs hardest setting. While that’s saying a lot, the M5 also handles a lot better. Hand on my heart, I’d be hard pressed to find a better handling sports saloon. The M5 is a magnificent handler. It tackles bends at impossibly high speeds and no matter what your mind tells you to do, ignore it and let the mighty M5 do what it does best – light speed cornering. At one point I felt every single G known to man, lateral, negative and positive G. All in one bend! It’s an amazing experience, one that is overshadowed only by that screaming V10, wailing its way through every crest, dip and bend. The fact that it only ever stops screaming at 8,250rpm is testament to BMW’s commitment to building a proper sports car.

So the M5 is the greatest super saloon known to man what with its 7 speed SMG gearbox and manic V10 engine. But with that in mind, it’s also at the very pinnacle of modern, human technology. So what if a 911 Turbo could outpace it to 250km/h or that an F430 would shout a much louder bark; the fact that this daily saloon could even be compared in such hallowed company is in itself a magnificent achievement. And that’s before I’ve even mentioned a single word about the price. Because at a snip below 1 million ringgit, the mighty M5 has given the blue blooded supercar aristocracy, one final deathly blow.

The kings are dead. Long live the M5.